Aurors Don't Complain
by wolvenaire
Summary: Years 3-5; A 'newbie' auror is assigned the vital task of keeping a close eye on Hogwarts, but if they don't stop giving her tasks that aren't suited to her position, she may just fail and be driven to St.Mungo's before Sirius Black is even caught.
1. Headaches

_Why am I here?_

She surveyed the Grand Hall, with contempt as she downed another mug of pumpkin juice. It was most definitely too early to be supervising these brats as they ate and chattered happily before her. All were gossiping about last night's occurrences with a certain homicidal maniac which she tried to hunt down ALL NIGHT after the Fat Lady's disappearance. Bright, young, and eager faces shown with vigor and everything else Felicity wasn't feeling at this particular moment. She's had an hour's sleep, a night watch, and a poltergeist setting off false alarms around every corner. Looking at those happy children, this early in the morning (around seven to be exact) made her want to gag.

She felt her right, brown eye twitch on its own accord and a throbbing headache consumed her as she tried to finish her meal. Then the teachers just HAD to be sociable with the latest gossip and security measures. Honestly, after a rough night of searching the whole bloody castle, you'd think there would be silence.

Professor Sprout's voice, no matter how soft she tried to make it, carried off all the way to her end of the table and Felicity caught most her smack. McGonagall, who didn't see the problem with Felicity, tried to quiet her down, and yet to no avail, Sprout just kept talking. Dumbledore, began to speak with Hagrid about some beast or another, and their use for protection around the castle. Dragons would not be tolerated, obviously. And then, when Hagrid spoke, his booming voice made her want to shove a spoon down her throat. As of right now, the only teacher who seemed amiable to Felicity was Snape, who currently sat next to her with absolutely no emotion plastered onto his gaunt face. All he did was sit, eat, and speak when spoken to. If they ever did. In times like this, she could really respect that quiet and broody little man to keep her sane, him and Remus, who was not present at the moment. The other teachers, however, were annoying her to death as another wave of pain shot through her already beaten skull.

_At least the professor's have manners_.

She growled, picking up a piece of toast violently and shoving it into her mouth, it was days like these that were going to drive her to the edge of insanity. To her left, Hagrid looked down on her inquisitively, with big, furry eyebrows scrunched together. She muttered a quick 'sorry,' and after realizing that she was acting no better than the kids, she resumed to glaring at them profusely.

Glancing around the room some more, it seemed that the none of the children knew what propriety was. Food was disappearing faster than magic could have ever allowed it to, and then reappearing again just as quickly. Then, pieces of, 'something,' began to be thrown around, before Dumbledore would stop it with a flick of his wand. He gently chastised and continued his conversation with Hagrid. The pain grew worse as a louder, more boisterous, and too altogether mischievous laughter could be heard among the crowd, and then it became excruciating as she found out who it belonged too. A poltergeist now flew around the room, cackling and bouncing off the walls like some whack-job from St. Mungos.

_He knows that I'm not in a good mood today_

In times like this, she would wonder why she wanted to be an auror. As of now, there was no glory, no pride in her job, just bruises and stress. So, for extreme circumstances, and not to be taken every day (so prescribed by her witch doctor) she took out from her robes a set of specially brewed pain killers, packaged neatly in small test tubes. She took it down like a shot of fire whisky, and felt better instantly.

It still didn't help the fact that she was still disgusted by the students in the great hall, and the taste of her 'miracle potion' didn't do anything better for her mood, besides cure a fatal headache. Looking beside Hagrid, she noticed Dumbledore giving her a sympathetic smile and nodded at her. Perhaps it meant that he understood, but who knows what he really means. If he did understand, he knew about her total lack of patience and tolerance, but because he sees that every experience has a lesson to be learned, she hardly received help from him. Not that she needed help, she was a big girl after all.

She sighed, inwardly, she had enough. She got up and attempted to walk out the door, mumbling a quick goodbye to everyone, she got so far as to touch the knob before a very large, grey owl dropped a letter in front of her. Catching it in mid-air excitedly, she had hoped it was another "assignment" from the office. Perhaps it was something less noisy or more secluded, something other than a school full of raging hormones and angst. She ripped open the elaborate seal to uncover a quick note from her employer. She even allowed a little giggle of glee to come forth at the prospect of being elsewhere. However, she could only continue to hope. The news presented to her was more frightening than the danger she now placed herself in (most of it from a possible mad man by the name of Sirius Black, who may have decided to come and give a quick, threatening 'visit' to her former school the previous night).

_Felicity Stratus,_

_As a result of being underhanded out in the field, and due to our current situation, I deeply regret informing you that your request to be re-stationed elsewhere has been denied. In place of that, however, another three months is required of your services at Hogwarts, and possibly until the end of the school year, or until the fugitive Sirius Black is caught. _

Suddenly, Felicity started to wonder why she just didn't become a historian instead of an auror as she quickly ran out of the room, preparing to give a hearty, stress-filled scream.


	2. Students

She just stood against the doors, screaming away her pent up energy. The letter in her left, pale hand was crumpled in rage as her headache came back from the recesses of her mind. In no time, most of the professors came out to investigate, rushing through the door with their wands at the ready, knocking her flat off her feet. Hagrid's pink umbrella seemed to bring her back to reality, as did the face he was making, while McGonagall's normally stern look became even more fearsome and, somehow, cat-like. Everyone in the school seemed to come out to fight, save for three. One, who was currently incapacitated for his bestiality problem, while two and three just sat there eating breakfast, and from what she could tell through the crack of the swinging door, acting like this was to be expected.

"As I was saying Severus, we'll be needing to heighten the security measures- " Dumbledore could be heard from where she stood, about to pound her head into the ground and hide for eternity. Snape followed his words as he picked at his bacon and drank from his goblet.

As the teachers continued to search for danger, the students started to file in, also whipping their wands out and standing in their own 'fearsome' fighting poses.

"Sorry…about that." She chuckled nervously, backing away from the crowd of battle-ready teachers and teenagers. "False alarm, just bad news from my, um, boss is all… carryon." Still embarrassed, she slipped away from sight as she turned down a hall way, ready to go to sleep and confront Dumbledore about this matter later. She heard the groans of disappointed young ones mixing along with the impatient mumbles and sighs of relief from the elders. She hurried her pace down the corridor.

For one week, she was here for one week, and she wanted to cry. Nowhere in her job description did it say that she had to be tormented by dementors, baby sit the kiddies when the teachers couldn't hold their bladders any longer, or actually teach a class while, said teachers, were currently relieving themselves, for HOURS at a time. Sometimes, they just wouldn't come back. Then, the ministry had needed her to level with the dementors, and attempt to calm them when they got aggravated over the lack of souls to suck.

Of course, auror's can not complain.

Taking a turn to the Grand Staircase, she waited for the right one to just slide into place and lead her to her destination. Her room on the sixth floor. However, as she was waiting, something scurried past her foot and underneath her all black robes. And then that something began to crawl up.

She screamed for the second time, this time in fear as that -THING- ran farther up and onto her back, pausing for a slight second before Felicity began to dance around wildly, trying her best to just, get it off. Scrambling about the room for something to get it out, she found nothing that could help her instantly, unless shattering a vase on her back would kill the cretin. After a few more moments, if finally clicked, she's a freaking witch. Taking out her wand, she muttered a quick incantation, and she felt the creature's claws instantly loosen as she heard a soft thump hit the marble floors. It continued on its way to a dark corner of the room, and then making its way to what she assumed would be the Great Hall. She now remembered why rats were never a friend of hers.

"Well done, it took you a full minute to realize you could cast a simple spell." Professor Snape came from the corridor she had just exited, wand ready and slightly annoyed. "We all heard you scream, again, and I must say this is turning out to be like that story, 'The Boy Who Cried Werewolf." He stopped, and she was ready to just kick his ass.

"Shouldn't you be teaching?" She smoothed her robes down, in an effort to look calm, eyeing him warily.

"Shouldn't you ?"

"What?"

"While I'm taking care of the Defense Against the Dark Arts class, who do you think is teaching the N.E.W.T level potions class? Or didn't the Headmaster tell you?" Snape walked down into the direction of the dungeons, and for some odd reason, she knew he was smirking in a self-satisfied kind of way, which just triggered a mental image of Snape hanging from the rafters above her. The worst part was that she realized that Potions was her worst subject, and had absolutely no plan to go about teaching it.

"Wait, you already gave them instructions for the day right? RIGHT! She called back helplessly, but he was already out of sight.

"I hate my life."

**THE DUNGEONS**

"I REALLY hate my life." Grumbling she sat down and started to stare around the room.

She was seated behind Snape's desk in his cold, dank dungeon that received very little light and cleaning. It smelt weird too, like a mixture of dull peppermint and fish. She was glancing at the small group of teenagers who actually managed to get through Snape's torture. Oddly enough, they were all Slytherins and maybe two Ravenclaws.

_Nothing has changed _

The faces in front of her sat in their respective tables, according to the seating chart, and she looked around for a few seconds, wondering what the hell Snape would have planned for them today. They actually looked rather pleased with themselves which would have scared her if she wasn't so damned tired and angry. She wondered vaguely if the fumes from the classes would have messed with their brain cell count. Maybe he had brainwashed them? Oh, duh, he's a potionsmaster, they're all under some crazy…no Dumbledore would've known about it. Looking at the two boys in front, she noticed that they both seemed confused and dazed, almost like they had never seen anyone else behind this desk. So she propped her feet up, and laid back, getting a little bit of a reaction from them. One looked like he was about to swoon, while the other just gazed at her. So with nothing to say, she just kicked backed and relaxed. The chair was actually quite comfy, and after getting a few minutes of relaxation, she settled back onto the boys.

"Do you guys really like this class?" She directed it to them who were both in Ravenclaw. The sudden question put everyone else off guard. The boys looked at each other, shocked that she would ask a question like that to them. However, when one was about to answer, a Slytherin girl with black, spiky hair, spoke up from the back table. She stood up, nice and proud, with a malicious smileplastered on her face. She was missing a tooth.

"Of course they do, they even get to try the potions they make!" Felicity guessed as much, knowing all too well that Snape did, in fact, play favorites and added poisons to his teaching agenda.

"Do you?"

The boys shook their head in the negative, and now she was in a power play for control in the class. It's unfortunate for this girl that Felicity practically invented this game.

"Its Miss DeFay, right? Ten points!" Merlin, she loved power, she began to look at her boots as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"What! You can't-"

"Yes I can, I am your commander now, and I will not allow insults in this class."

"But-"

"Sit down, Miss DeFay."

The poor girl seemed to really try hard to find a comeback, but couldn't. So she sat back down, dejected and humiliated. Was the class really that miserable? More importantly though,

_Why do I even care?_

"Class…today you have a free day, don't mess with the cauldrons, ingredients, or anything else that can cause an explosion or fatal accident. Be good, no duels and you know the rest. I'm going to go have a talk with your professor when this is done and over with."

"Miss Stratus? I think we're supposed to be working on-"

_Merlin, I hate kids. _What was surprising was that one of the students actually care.

"Does it involve fire, acids, and or spells of any kind?"

"Well, ye-"

"Then no."

So hours passed of idle chit chat as she watched each student like a hawk, while reading Witch Weekly and eating the last of her candy that she had stored in her bag. So she's not the best substitute teacher, well maybe asshole should leave a lesson plan the next time she's called in to work inside a classroom. And as the bell finally rang, she jumped straight out of her seat, grabbed her bag, and quickly left the students behind to fend for themselves.

"AND TOUCH NOTHING ON YOUR WAY OUT!"

She now had patrol, but after that, she would hunt down Snape and Dumbledore to figure out a new, and improved way to go about business around this place. And maybe even get reassigned.


	3. Dogs and Mud

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Things outside the school were different. It was calm, cool, and beautiful, even with the storm clouds brewing up ahead. It seemed the weather would not improve for quite awhile, but this was her ideal situation, the type that she could deal with. Now that she was much more alert without the many distractions that found her inside of the school, she could actually do her job and hunt Black down through piecing together the events of last night and his escape from prison.

_He's obviously here, but he's obviously not. He can fool the dementors and leave the most guarded place in the wizarding world without as much as a single trace. He's obviously using a very similar, if not the same trick, but what is it?_

_Damn I suck at my job. _

She walked along the outskirts of the forbidden forest, hoping for him to slip up and maybe come out in broad daylight and surprise everyone with his surrender and a quick, hasty drop off at Azkaban, and then maybe she could get some sleep and-

_Why, Merlin..._

She could, maybe even trip and fall into a really big puddle from last night's storm. Damn it all, she just needed a few minutes of solitude to think clearly and catch that stupid criminal, so she could go home. She sat in that hole on the ground for a good 10 minutes, pitying herself and continued to bitch and whine, with added tears for her pity-party. If this weren't enough, it began to thunder, and with that the sky darkened. When she got up and dried herself with a quick spell, she began trekking slightly further into the forbidden forest, she had no idea that with her noise and tears, that she had attracted almost every living thing in the forest, and she was now being watched. Though oblivious to those monsters, she was extremely careful not to head into the dementors threshold this time, knowing how well her peace negotiations went, she had to be vigilant…constantly. She kept a watch on the temperature and held back her sadness, and ATTEMPTED to think happy, wonderful thoughts.

Because of the recent storms, it was almost difficult to tell if the prints on the ground could be considered human, or centaur or even-

_No, wait, two sets, five toes...definitely human. Booyah. _

She bent even closer to get a better grip on herself, because if she actually found his foot prints, she was going home soon, and quitting. Still bent over without her 'constant vigilance,' she failed to see the enormous dog that had jumped on her back and pushed her straight into the mud, head first. It had then preceded to bolt back into the woods, and continue to watch her.

She didn't even want to get up anymore, because if she did, she had a feeling that something else would happen to further humiliate her, lower her pride and break whatever spirit she had locked safely within herself and away from the auror's academy. Then, she realized that if she stayed down, that thing would have won and she wouldn't get her paycheck, and her week in hell would have been for nothing. So forcing herself up little by little, she looked in front of her, behind her, and all of the checkpoints they taught her in the academy. As soon as she was up on her legs with her wand at the ready, she backed into a tree, prepared to shoot emergency sparks if anything were to happen.

The thunder above began to get louder, as she waited for some sign of that, THING, that had attacked her. The next thing she knew, however, was that she was taken down from the side, and pushed back into the mud. With her luck, the rock that was embedded into the sludge knocked her against her head.

Today was just not her day.

But for some odd reason, she saw red sparks fly up before her closed eyes anyway, even though her wand had been knocked from her hand. She supposed it didn't matter, they were sent by, what she guessed was her, and fell into a deep sleep.

**Hours later**, clean, and eating dinner in the Infirmary with Dumbledore sitting by her side, she had nothing to report but "a big ass black dog" attacking her in the forest, and the set of footprints near the small clearing in which the Whomping Willow resided.

"Well, it seems your day was quite eventful." He said, eating the toffees from the small bag on his waist. "It's a shame that while you were unconscious the weather wiped out all trace elements of, well, anything on the forest floor. The rain had started perhaps a few minutes after your run in with this dog and almost flooded the castle's grounds. Why, it's almost a miracle you didn't drown, or that Severus even saw the sparks."

It was at this point that something broke in Felicity. She continued to stare blankly at Dumbledore, with no expression, feeling, or anything.

_Everything is gone?_

"Well, I suppose when you get better, we'll be expecting you back on patrol. After all, the Quidditch match is in a scant few days, and we'll need all the security we can get." He got up from his seat and walked towards the doors, leaving Poppy to explain that she would need Felicity to stay overnight as a precaution, but nothing seemed to phase her. She continued to stare at the spot that he just vacated, falling back into her pillow and contemplating the easiest way to just leave the school, change her name, and never return.

"Goodnight, Miss Stratus."


End file.
